"life."

 I just sit here, and do nothing. My father never told me to make friends, go outside really mostly, cause he knows how lonely I am, since I'm shy (Basically an introvert.....)

Every day, in school, there are always people just running, and screaming.. and there I am, just sitting on a seat in the lunchroom, drawing and listening to music. I never interact, and when I do.. I laugh my butt off, or "scream" random stuff and someone (usually my stepmom) tells me to be quiet. I can't help it..

All I do is just listen to music, draw, watch anything on YouTube, just look around and I see myself, asking myself.. "Am I just me?" Everyone's having a good time, talking and interacting... and then there's me..

I always come to school, it's always the same routine.. Wait for my school bus in the morning after putting my clothes on, and getting my phone from my parents' room, I get out of the school bus, then walk inside. Once they all arrive, everyone's going nuts, going to class, going to lunch and the same thing at breakfast happens, then I go back to class, then it's bussing. I get off the school bus, come home and talk to my father about how my day was, I'll respond with just "good."

Then either he'll order takeout for me off Uber Eats, or Slice or give me a $20 bill to go to the pizza shop to eat. And after I come home, I'll watch TV, or go on my phone, by going on Discord or YouTube or maybe 4chan or Twitter. Then I will do it all over unless my dad takes me on vacation or I'll go to the movies, I'll go to the barber shop to get a haircut or just, go anywhere for a checkup or just random crap..

It's always been the same, but different times. Now I'm 18, and life's different. I'm still lonely though. If there is such a thing as paradise, then would it come true? I've hurt many people, and said many things I can't ever take back.. I have anger issues, it's true. I've been known to get upset and rage at the world. 

I love writing, and drawing. It's like comfort to me, but that doesn't excuse the fact I was lazy before.. I know I won't be a good writer or artist, but I try to inspire those who see me as one they look up. But I won't be a savior, or a madman of writing... that's fine... I never asked to be one anyway..

Life's been a bitch to me. I lost my mother at only 4, cause of some brain aneurysm. Then I lost my uncle just days before my 6th birthday, cause he was murdered by an pal of his who invited him over for cigarettes and a drink.. He was only 41 years old...

Then I lost my grandma and grandpa, cause of something.. The only members of Dad's biological family that are still alive are besides my sisters, and him. There is also, my aunt Taisha who is living up in Kentucky with her daughter/my cousin, Taliah.

Following my mother's death. My father hooked up with a female of Chinese descent named Linda, however she was a pain in the ass to my father, buying Louis Vuitton bags. But then my father's life changed, for better or for worse.. One day, I met a girl. my stepmother. Idalisa De La Cruz.. She, along with my sisters (and my late mother) would usually babysit me, since my father was always at work, doing double shifts and dealing with patients who were not willing to get out of the hospital and wanting to get back or wanting to hurt themselves or hurt another person..

Thanks to my dad taking me to church, and cause of my stepmom.. I learnt about the Bible's mythology about demons, and gods. I invested in mythology, and that's how fictional worlds are made to capture the imaginations of any kind of adult or a child who learns about mythology or as they call it... lore.

For example, J.R.R Tolkien's The Lord of The Rings, or George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice And Fire, or H.P Lovecraft's works about Cthulhu, or the Necronomicon.

Anime, and, manga are a huge inspiration for my works.. I've admired many. 

Digimon. Yu-Gi-Oh!, Death Note. Bluelock. Berserk. My Dress-Up Darling. Darling in the FRANXX. Jewelpet. Dragon Ball. BLEACH. One Piece. Gachikuta. Duel Masters. Claymore. Ubell Blatt. PriPara. CARDFIGHT!! Vanguard. Onegai My Melody. Aikatsu!. 

As a kid, I wondered how all these were made. I've admired what these made... 

Thanks to a lot of things, I felt free to make anything to my heart's desires.. All these characters brought out onto the world, and made for people to be inspired...

The possibilities are endless, and I hope that more and more find their way to get inspired.. 

Life is short, enjoy it while you last. Fight to survive in this dark, crumbling, hopeless world... 

Light will be your friend and your hope will be the guide to a new world... No matter how long the fight goes on, people will die, lives will disappear, and the world will keep spinning.

Be yourself.

Love yourself.

Be the best version for you that you can.

Live, long, and prosper.

Malachi Sanchez... signing off.